Winter Hunger

My thoughts are rushing in. I have a need to stay wide awake in this world all the time. Not to let go. It's as if there are so many things left unsaid, undone, unread, unlearnt. I am saturated by impatience. 

Someone pulled down the veil I used to cover myself. I am looking around with limpid eyes. There is no sense of logic in this world. I crave for more. For intensity. And yet the coldness is all around, coming closer to my skin, my veins. Spreading like a virus among the people I don't even know or want to understand.

The people I come across are mainly indifferent, passers-by. Longing to reach their warm homes and log out from the street. Waiting. For better days to come. Maybe for some money to fall from a tree. For work. For God to have mercy on them. For a new politician on the scene to gossip about. For happiness. For a phone call. For kindness. For love. To love someone if they still haven't forgotten how to.   

Brain and soul food. I need it desperately since this is the only thing that keeps me really alive. But there is not much left of it nowadays. I'm walking a tightrope trying to play the game cunningly one move at a time. I'm waiting too. And running. To feel my muscles hurt. To see if there are really better days to come. To breathe in and out until I feel strong enough to raise my head and face what lies in front of me. To feel his love, above all. 

Because it seems who touches the sparkling stars and walks firmly on the ground will beat the winter hunger. 

And we are all made of stars. Or at least, we could have been. If we only wanted to be.

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listen to: Anoushka Shankar - Unsaid